Why the "I don't like other girls" mentality is toxic for women

Although it may be true to say that sometimes a woman’s greatest opponent is other women, this doesn’t have to be the norm. Society has tricked women into believing that all women should be competitive with one another - for jobs, men just about everything else.



Many girls grow up thinking that girls talk too much, are two-faced and if any other girl has something, it means they lose something.  While not many girls have been taught this by their parents, they learn in the workforce, school and from their friends.

The characteristics of female competition are most commonly found when it comes to dating and finding a man, but they are consistent when women find themselves competing for other things as well.

According to Joyce Benenson, a researcher at Emmanuel College of Boston, these competition traits include women relying on aggressive verbal confrontation rather than physical; women rely on uniform standards of beauty to equal the playing field; and women guard themselves against competitors through social exclusion.

Being that women are taught early on these means of competition and treating other women, glorifying not having many female friends only furthers the girl-hate agenda.

Here are three reasons why saying you don't like girls is a toxic mentality for women: 

It degrades women. With all of the negative stereotypes that women have to deal with, saying you don't like other women, as a woman, is just putting others down. Why else would you celebrate the fact that you don't have many female friends, if this wasn't something you saw as a  positive? Girls are too-faced, they talk too much, catty, etc.  - we've heard it all before. Promoting that you distance yourself from other women sends the message that there's something wrong with being who you are. 


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Gives society control over women. This mindset was created by unfortunate societal norms, and society has also controlled this narrative. Society tells women how they should conduct themselves, wear and even what role they should play in a relationship. When there;s a million movies and TV shows portraying women as backstabbing, petty and mean, it motivates other women to say they aren't like most girls, to be more likable to men. Stop giving society control over how women are perceived and treated by other women. 

It encourages women to hate other women. Women disliking other women becomes the norm, which is no way for anyone to grow up or build new sisterhoods. Often we see women who say things such as "I don't like girls", being put on a pedestal and treated better by men and even other women. When you see women getting treated better for distancing themselves from their femininity, its easy to internalize those feelings. This mentality does nothing but encourage women to shame those they should embrace. 


What has your experience been with these types of stereotypes?