How to handle your boyfriend and best friend not getting along

As if friendships aren’t tricky enough, add in a significant other that doesn’t mesh with your friends and watch things get messy. While most people can be friendly with their friends romantic partners, that’s not always the case.



As it turns out, more than ⅔ of Americans will lose 90% of their friends over the course of a decade, primarily due to romantic relationships. According to study done by, entering a romantic relationship is the third biggest cause of ending friendships, right after, moving to a new city and drifting apart. In addition to having lost friends due to getting with someone new, 33% of people reported having lost friends in a break-up.

You may think your relationship won’t have an effect on your friendship, and vice versa, but in reality, they are very much related.

Here’s how to handle your best friend and significant other not getting along:

Don’t force it. Never try and force two people to be friends if they just aren't clicking. Either one of two things can end up happening: The stress of trying to make it work will begin to affect your relationship with each of them; or they will be friends but you just won't be in the picture anymore. It's always a nice thing when your new partner and friends all get along, but there's nothing wrong with maintaining boundaries and allowing your friends to remain your friends - so there is an upside. 

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Have a talk with each person. Have a serious talk with each person in your life and let them know how you're feeling. Usually, two people who are fighting can put their differences aside if it's hurting the one person they both love. Ask your best and partner to be at least cordial around each other, try to make it easier on you. Letting them know that you won't be choosing sides or cutting off the other person can sometimes force two people to cease the bickering. 

Find out the truth behind the dislike. Ever know someone who would sometimes hate another person for no apparent reason? Those people exist and sometimes, they are our friends. With sensitive situations like close friendships and relationships, it's beneficial to do your due diligence and figure out the root of the issue. Maybe they knew each other before you two got together; perhaps something was said when you weren't in the room; or maybe your friends suspects the worst of them and is trying to look out for you. Whatever the case may be, try to get the truth behind it all when you have your hear to heart. 


What would you do if your significant other and best friend didn't get along?