It’s no secret that friendships change over time, and not all of our childhood friends make it to our adult lives. Our friends change from elementary to middle school, into high school and college.
According to research by sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst at Utrecht University, most friendships have more to do with opportunity than personal preference. This means that once it’s no longer convenient for you to be close to someone, the friendship only has so long before it ends - unless you nurture that relationship.
In most cases, friendship brings out the most positive outcomes in human beings. Whether someone is a close friend or not, they should be encouraging you to be your best self, and uplift you when are feeling down.
Unfortunately, there are some friends who just drag all of the energy out of you. Toxic friendships can be hard to recognize because we want to believe the best about the people in our lives.
Also, we tend to measure the strength or importance of a relationship, based on how long the person has been in our life. While some friendship die due to it not being nurtured properly, some die because someone is no longer being a true friend.
Here are five signs that’ll tell you if you’re in a toxic friendship:
Jealousy. There is absolutely no way you can be friends with someone who is jealous of you, and wants your life. It'll be pretty easy to tell is someone is jealous of you; they won't ever express genuine happiness for your wins; they'll talk down on your accomplishments; and they will try and sabotage anything good in your life, and mask it as looking out for you. If you're friend is always getting mad or sad when good things happen fr you, they're green with envy for sure.
They make you feel inferior. We all have moments when we don't feel like we measure up, but that has everything to do with us and not our friends. If you have a friend who is condescending and intentionally tries to make you feel insecure, that isn't someone you should keep around. Your true friends will encourage you, a toxic one will try to make you second guess every move you make.
They take advantage of you. Many people are still taking kindness for weakness, especially when it comes to their friends. A bad friend will try to test your limits all the time and put you in tough positions, recognize how often this happens with some friends and act accordingly.
Extremely territorial. There's nothing wrong with your friends loving you and wanting you to themselves, but it is possible to take it too far. Is your friend always getting mad when you hang out with other people? Do they always need to know where you are and who you're with? Have they never gotten along with your other friends or partners? Territorial, jealous friends can often seem like loving, protective ones - know the difference.
Drama magnet. The thing about people who always have an issue with someone else, is the eventually they'll have a problem with you too. Distance yourself from friends who always seem to have a lot of drama in their lives. Constant fighting with partner, family and other friends can be a sign that they are a problem. If everyone has a problem with one person, usually that person is the real problem and not them.
Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? How did you distance yourself from that person?