10 things to avoid when building a sisterhood and new friendships

If you feed into what the movies and the media will tell you, you'll probably end up thinking that all women are catty and would prefer the company of men. Despite how women are portrayed on our television screens it's important to know what make a true sisterhood. 

Connecting with other women will never have a negative impact on your life or career and it should be the basis of your networking efforts. But what happens when you allow toxic thoughts to interfere with your relationships you worked so hard to build? 

With the stigma given to women on being catty, mean and spiteful, it can be hard to put yourself out there and make new friends. Reading into comments and behaviors too much can also blur your view of other women. 

Here are 10 things you should absolutely avoid when you're trying to forge new friendships: 

Jealousy. There absolutely nothing worse than a jealous friend. Honestly, there's no way you can build a true friendship with someone who wants to be you, and vice versa. You should always bee cheering the women in your community on, not getting jealous of the blessings in their lives. 

Don't block your blessings being envious of someone else's. [Click to Tweet] 

Comparison. Comparison really is the thief of joy. Your journey will always look different from someone else's and so will your destiny. You cannot compare your first chapter to someone's fifth; you cannot compare your social feed to someone else's; you cannot compare your blog readership to the next blogger's.

When you compare yourself to others, you diminish what makes you unique. [Click to Tweet] 

RELATED: Why connecting with other women and building sisterhood is critical to your career

Selfishness. If you feel the need to keep your hacks, tricks and connections to yourself because you're afraid someone else will get ahead of you, you're doing it wrong. Now you don't have to give away all of your trade secrets but don't be stingy when it comes to helping others when they are lost. If your peers or readers come to you for help, don't be so selfish that you aren't even making yourself valuable anymore. 

Toxic mentalities. The 'there can only be one' mentality is so toxic, and we see it so often when it comes to women of color. There's more than enough room for everyone to launch their blog, sell their products and host their webinars. There's nothing wrong with friendly competition, it'll only make you better. 

Bitterness. Being bitter won't make you better at what you do, so why bother? Being apart of a true sisterhood is all about supporting one another, and being happy when a friend wins. 

Imitation. Imitation is NOT the sincerest form of flattery. Friends who copy what their other friends do can't think for themselves and they don't believe in their own power. There are thousands of other people doing what you do, but there is only one you in the world. Being inspired but don't copy. 

Competition. Friendly competition keeps you on your toes and on your A-game. Other than that, competition breeds jealousy and will make you remain stagnant. You'll be so wrapped up in what the next woman is doing, you won't be able to focus on your own. 

Gossip. A great way to make a bad name for yourself and scare other women away is by being a gossip. Even if you just met someone, staying out of the drama and being honest is what is going to build the sisterhood you want. People will always talk, but that doesn't mean you have to respond. 

Cliques. Sisterhood is about community and collaboration. You can;t have those things if you are wrapped up in being a part of a blogger clique. Grow your network, build a sisterhood and community but don't limit yourself by sticking to one group of creatives. 

Big egos. The bigger the ego, the easier the shoes are to fill. You can't let your success, or the success of your friends go to your head. The people who helped you reach your heights will no longer be around to take you to the next level if you let a big ego get in the way. Not to mention other creatives will not want to work with you if they feel you can't be humble. 


What obstacles did you face when building sisterhood within your network?