Emotional intelligence is one of those things that no one thinks about until they realize the impact it has. Being emotionally intelligence means you are aware of your feelings and are able to express them coherently, but also that you can understand the feelings of others and sow empathy.
Having high EQ can be more important than a high IQ because soft skills are much harder to be taught. When it comes to getting new opportunities, a job or just building authentic relationships with people – it all requires a certain level of emotional intelligence.
It’s critical when communicating with people, to be aware of things such as tone, body language, and facial expressions because they all play a role in EQ. But how can you improve your emotional intelligence, if you don’t how you’re doing now?
If you want to measure your emotional intelligence, ask yourself these five questions:
Do you get defensive when given constructive criticism?
People who lack emotional intelligence get very defensive when someone challenges them in a way they don’t like. People who have high EQ are keeping an open mind to new ideas and suggestions. Being too defensive or closed off can scare others away when it comes to sharing new things with you. Having high EQ is all about being supportive, a great listener and approachable. There is nothing worse than wanting to speak to someone about something but can’t because you know how they’ll react.
The pressure you put on the people around you when you can’t be receptive to different ways of thinking shows a lack of emotional intelligence because you aren’t able to control your emotions or think about those of others.
Are you aware of your emotions?
Learning how you react in certain situations, you will better be able to think before speaking or acting. Those who aren’t sure of their emotions, end up looking like they bottle them up and eventually just let them explode when the final straw comes. Being aware of your emotions is critical to your emotional intelligence since it requires to you to express them in a healthy way around others.
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Can you sense the emotions of others?
If you aren’t aware how your words and actions make others feel, how can you possibly have high EQ? And that’s not to say that you only need to be sympathetic to the way that people respond to you, but everything around them.
For example, if you know someone is getting married or having a baby, it’s probably not a good idea to talk about everything that went wrong when you went through those life-altering experiences. Especially if you went through something similar to someone you know, you can understand exactly what they may be going through.
At any moment you interact with that person, its best to think about their situation as if you were still in it and act accordingly. When you were having a baby, did you want to hear about birth defects or even miscarriages? Of course not. Being emotionally intelligent is all about putting yourself in the shoes of those around you, and being sensitive to how they may be feeling.
Do you have self-control?
This goes hand and hand with being aware of your own feelings and being aware of the feelings of others. When you are aware of your feelings, you can better control yourself – meaning what you say and what you do.
Do you know how to problem solve?
Being able to diffuse a situation and mediate are great signs of high emotional intelligence. When you can clearly communicate someone’s point of view during a conflict and are able to work with people to come to a resolution you definitely are aware of the emotions of others, and your own; and can use that to better control what you say and do.
How do you feel you rate on emotional intelligence?