5 Ways to Keep Self-Reflection From Being Negative

It’s easy to fall into one of the most terrible traps in life: the comparison trap. I don’t even think mice are naive enough to fall into this trap the way humans do so  effortlessly. 


How do you escape negative emotions? When your mind wants to go into that dark place of comparison, inadequate, and even self-hate (because let’s be honest, we all have been there). We quickly find our mission to discourage ourselves sometimes and we know it’s unhealthy.

Negative self-reflection causes stress and the cycle can be vicious if we don’t work at stopping it in its tracks. Some of the ways this cycle begins:


  1. Influence - comparision, issues, bad results or assumptions

  2. Thinking process

  3. Negative self-reflection

  4. Action


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The cycle repeats itself until you find yourself in a depressed state. This can result in not believing in yourself, forgetting your dreams and even pouring out that negative energy on other people. 

How do we stop it?  

As a creative girl and someone who deals with an autoimmune disease at such a young age, it is very easy to harbor negative self-reflection and negative emotions. 

Being a young woman with Lupus, I quickly developed the negative Nancy trait. After my diagnosis, I felt like a monster and I began to look at myself differently. Lupus will make you feel like a monster. I needed a solution and I needed to share my feelings with someone. 

When I was in a depressed state caused by negative self-reflection these are 5 things that I found helpful and still use this very day:  

  1. Prayer and Counseling

  2. Personal Time

  3. Positive Relationships

  4. Support Groups

  5. Affirmations


RELATED: How To Embrace The Major Transitions In Your Life 


I received prayer and counseling from my pastor who is also my spiritual father. This helped me talk out my feelings and emotions to receive spiritual guidance and began the process of self-forgiveness and healing.  After time, I began to find that my personal time was important, I would find a good book to read and get my mind off the negative things that would consume my mind and fall into a journey in the book or movie for that moment. 


It took one year to become social again and I did not like that. Negative self-reflection can cause isolation; so I pushed myself to get back out and at least be social with people at the grocery store. Little by little I began to build positive relationships.  This is essential because you need people who are going to build you up and edify you no matter how you feel.


Although they are building me up and all of these great things, I found myself in online support groups, which leads me to my next point. Support groups became a big part of my life. Engaging in support groups made me feel normal again and I felt like the issues that became negative self-reflection, didn’t belong to me and I was not alone.


 Affirmations became a part of my routine and something that I believe works if you make it a habit. The best part about affirmations is you can have them at your discretion anywhere at anytime. You can write them, record and listen to them, post them on sticky notes in the bathroom, in your closet or in the kitchen. Anywhere you put them is a constant reminder that will help you heal and keep your self-reflection from being negative.


The new year is quickly approaching and it will help to begin a new journey of self-love and self-care, trying one or a few of these ideas to refresh yourself emotionally to start the New Year off right. 


How are you working on positive self-reflection for the new year?


Brittney Parker was also known as Miss Parker is a Native of Southern California. Brittney began her career as a model and host for Seventeen Magazine’s runway and promotional shows which opened the door to partnering opportunities with brands such as Macy’s, American Eagle and Aeropostale. She also began creating content on YouTube for MissParkerTV and other YouTube content creators. 

In August 2014, Miss Parker was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called  Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. The illness has given her a drive and desire to learn more about the disease, to bring awareness and find a cure. Currently, Miss Parker is curating a platform for young girls called Visionista University. Her plan is to work with other Visionistas within the entertainment industry and to help create opportunities for other young women who are Visionistas and need to focus on their vision.